Democracy cannot be built on victim culture
（From AZ QUOTES）
By Jianyu Hou Freelancer based in Cleveland, OH. USA
Before I arrived in the United States of America, I admired its democracy and cultural diversity, which emphasized that no matter where you come from, woman or man, rich or poor, you still have an opportunity to aspire for the American Dream.
Unlike in China where people get judged by their gender, age, physical appearance, educational-background, and income, it was my expectation that in the USA my life would get easier and American people would respect me me more. Nevertheless, such idealism appeared more fantasy than reality.
I had witnessed incidents in the US, which had proven that my notions of common fairness appear to be non-existent in the land of the free. A friend of my husband explained that he was kicked out by his girlfriend, “I paid all the bills and took care of our daughter, but she hooked up with another guy and charged me with domestic violence to send me to jail. But I’ve never beaten her.”
“She’s a man hater,” he tearfully said. “She told people she was raped in the past and had developed PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) after suffering from battering by her ex-boyfriend.”
He added, “I treated her well,” but during court proceedings, the judge only inquired about his criminal record. In fact, he had no record, but she had been convicted on counts of destroying public property.
Nonetheless, he was a big tall guy with a thick beard, which made it difficult for him to receive support from the public, especially since it has become a commonly-held assumption that men are not victims of domestic abuse.
This is a tragic story where a man gets victimized by an abusive woman, but it’s the woman who benefits from the American judicial courts’ system. Well, I’m a woman from China, where women’s lower status minimizes their ability to win protection from the police.
Accordingly, an American woman, who was abused in her past may get into a relationship with a man who does not treat her in a violent manner, but she may seek revenge by abusing him and then claiming to law enforcement officers that she was physically assaulted even if there’s no evidence to prove it
This case has introduced me to victim culture in American society. David French had written in an article, “Once ‘victimized’, a person gains power — but not through any personal risk. Indeed, it is the victim’s hypersensitivity and fragility that makes them politically and socially strong.” (http://www.nationalreview.com/article/424805/victim-culture-killing-american-manhood-david-french) By emphasizing her bad experiences with men in the past, she didn’t feel guilty for what she had done to her current boyfriend and never felt satisfied with their relationship.
Such actions and thought processes demonstrate that a democratic society in America should not be built on victim culture, since this is not what democracy is about.
“Victims” must find a group to hate, who are perceived to hold power over them in regards to their perspective. By embracing their “victim” status, they feel empowered, but unwilling to make their lives better.
The fallacy of “victims” is that they think they live in the past and have the right to ignore the present. The individuals they hate now are not the same individuals who had wronged them earlier. The individuals, who have become new target hatred, do not deserve it if they are innocent.
Once democracy is twisted by victim culture, hatred for more successful groups will spread, people would feel proud of their weaknesses and refuse to improve themselves, which ultimately leads to a shameless and unproductive society.
China during the Cultural Revolution serves as a perfect example. The poor hated the rich; the illiterate hated the well-educated; the rude hated the well-mannered. It was popular to say, “The poorer the more glorious.” During the ten years of lunacy, “victims” didn’t feel guilty even if some of them murdered people from groups they despised.
Secondly, “victims” refuse to take personal responsibility and blame the groups they hate for the hardships in their lives. “Victims” do not feel confident enough to take responsibility for themselves and believe they are incapable of making necessary adjustments, because they are not psychologically mature.
“Victims” are blind to recognize the contributions of other people who help them elevate their social status. “Victims” focus too much on what they’ve endured in the past and speak about it constantly to make others feel sorry for them, in order to get more political power. Nevertheless, the past cannot be changed. Therefore, living in the past means living in their own hatred.
People will respect and pay more attention to the strong, who are confident to face criticisms and reexamine their weaknesses to improve the quality of their lives, to work harder and contribute more to society and change the negative impression of their own communities.
In China, we have a saying, “Being aware of shame then brave to move forward” (知耻而后勇), meaning that once people feel ashamed of their weaknesses, they’re brave enough to confront reality and make an improvement. However, “victims” blame everyone else and force others to respect them unconditionally.
China started to lag behind western countries after the Industrial Revolution. Our country also suffered from invasions of foreign countries. But afterwards, the Chinese had begun to learn strengths from the countries who invaded them and improve upon their weaknesses. Within thirty years after the “Economic Reform and Open up” in 1978, China has risen to become the second largest economy in the world.
Nowadays, Chinese closely communicate with the rest of the world and help western countries to build infrastructure. We do not use violence against the communities who had previously invaded us, because it’s not a civilized way to win respect or gain political power.
If “victims” always consider themselves victims and focus on their sad pasts, they can get others' empathy, but not respect and their lives won't change for the better. Help yourselves! Be strong! Fight against adversity! Don't cry like a baby and refuse to grow up!